The fattest knight at King Arthur’s round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.
Did you hear about the man who got cooled to Absolute Zero, he’s 0K now.
What do you call 2 crows on a branch? Attempted murder.
A student traveling on a train looks up and sees Einstein sitting next to him. Excited, he asks: “Excuse me, professor. Does Boston stop at this train?”